Wednesday, July 27, 2011

I have confidence in me! (Part 3)

So, let them bring on all their problems

I'll do better than my best
I have confidence they'll put me to the test
But I'll make them see I have confidence in me


I have confidence in confidence alone
Besides which you see I have confidence in me!

So we've finally reached part 3 (read Part 1 and Part 2 or scroll down) of this delightful "Sound of Music" inspired series.  I put it off for a bit partly because I was not sure how to finish the saga, and partly because I was afraid of how it would end.  

Finally, the waiting and unsure feelings from Part 1 and the courage found from Part 2 have actually come together for an outcome worthy of a musical song and dance number complete with a catchy chorus, traditional German costumes, and a chorus full of dancing Nuns.  

I got a job.  A real one.  With a 9 month contract and benefits and stuff.  And I'm pumped.

I won't pretend to say that I was offered this job off of pure confidence, but it certainly played a part.  Tomorrow, look for a post that chronicles my job search and interview process.  I think any time you are putting yourself out into the world to be judged and chosen--be it for a job or on the kickball team at recess or on Project Runway--you are going to have to find a balanced confidence if you want to be successful.  If you can't find confidence in yourself and your skills, no one else will either.  If you think too highly of yourself, others will see that as cockiness and that certainly won't get you very far either.
The Team!

After months of frustration and my confidence dipping by the day, the turning point came at softball practice.  I finally convinced my boyfriend that I wouldn't be a terrible addition to his co-ed softball team and he finally agreed.  Though I have not played softball in a very long time, I came out to the first practice with glove blazing.  I was making awesome catches left and right and was feeling really great about myself.  My hitting is nothing to really write home about, but I was much less terrified knowing that at least I could excel in the outfield.  That practice gave me a confidence high for the rest of the weekend.  I am am permanent fixture in the outfield in a position where it is very common for me to have to make a play.  My confidence in myself turned into my team's confidence in me.      

Then we got to game time and good grief, I was nervous!  I certainly made my share of errors and our team didn't quite win.  I definitely got down on myself for making mistakes because it meant I also let my team down.  At the end of the game, the score was so bad that I when we scored 7 runs in the next game and still lost, I was excited that we had improved.  Still, even though my skills are in progress, I can't forget how great it felt that first day out.  With two games behind our team, I am looking forward to a few more before I move.  Each game I get more confident and more excited even though this is certainly not in my comfort zone.  

So over the past few weeks, I've been able to reflect on the scary aspects of being in an unstable art industry, seeking the courage to continue the job search no matter what, and finally finding confidence in myself first.

When was a time that you found confidence in yourself that inspired others to do the same?

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